Hans and Greta

Spin Tales & Rhyme December 11, 2018
Humor, Kids, Magic
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    A twist on the traditional Hansel and Gretel fairytale by Rebecca-Alexandra Green, Spin Tales & Rhyme

    Hamish was so well-to-do
    A work-a-holic through and through
    Meeting clients for a brew
    Muffins, cupcakes, wafers too
    “Delicious Hammy!” They would say
    In his gingerbread café
    Brimming with drool-worthy treats
    Houses of gingerbread and sweets
    Trees crafted from nutmeg fritters
    Ginger biccy woodland critters
    Rivers trickling made from treacle
    Sticky candied ginger vehicles.

    One day a mesmerising notion
    – Full of crazy loco motion –
    Struck Hammy in a moment, “GOLD!
    “There’s more of this to still unfold!
    It’s time the oven baked more grub
    To revamp this neighbourhood
    I’ll make a gingerbread theme park!
    Oh Hamish, you are one bright spark!”

    When kids found the whereabouts
    Of this joyous ginger house
    Hammy perked up to sell them
    A box or two of gingerbread men
    With gumdrop buttons, currant eyes
    Cola bottles, fizzy stripes
    Each one had a different face
    Green martians from outer space
    Victorians in robes and gowns
    Circus acrobats and clowns
    Families of every size
    All apples of Hammy’s eyes
    “If only they could be alive
    I could watch them flourish, thrive
    We’d make cakes and ginger cookies
    They’d be my little baking rookies!”

    Hammy dreamed of family life
    A son, a daughter and a wife
    Ice-creams for four along the seaside
    Tokens for the fairground rides…
    At his wedding with his love
    Vows, a guestlist, two white doves
    The bridal gown in ginger lace
    Ginger loaf for wedding cake…

    Dreaming whilst he closed the shop
    Hammy grabbed the bucket, mop
    Then ‘RING DING!’ the doorbell chimed
    “Who could that be at this time?”
    He pushed his nose up to the glass
    Faintly heard a petite lass
    “Fresh herbs I bring for recipes
    For sweet lemon and ginger teas
    Plus chewy, tasty cookies!”
    How delightful! Hamish thought
    All freshly picked and not shop bought
    “Please do come in!” He briskly said
    Behind the door, a fine Redhead
    Glistening under starry skies
    Were her tinted auburn eyes
    Ablaze and startling rubies
    Hair blowing in the evening breeze
    “Hello!” She chirped with a side smile
    Yet dainty dimples all the while
    “Hi! Where have you been?” Ham asked
    “Trekking, hiking!” She said fast
    “I go collecting herbs for spices
    The fragrant flavours, so enticing!”
    Hamish said “I know the feeling!
    I grow my own food – so appealing!”

    The two they chattered into night
    About their love for countryside
    Hammy’s routine morning stride
    Around the local reservoir and park
    To which Redhead quickly remarked
    “Do you get much time off work?
    You should enjoy all walks, the perks
    Of living here all the views…”
    And then Hammy, he said on cue:
    “Say that you’ll accompany me?”
    “Of course!” She speedily agreed.

    There you go – from that point on
    The pair were two peas in a pod
    Sharing seafront chips and cod
    Popcorn at the cinema
    Pinot at a quaint wine bar
    Lost in one another’s eyes
    Star-gazing at the dark night skies
    They searched for fresh ingredients
    For ginger treats and brilliance!

    One day on their morning stroll
    They saw a wonky root aglow
    ‘What is making that plant grow?
    I’ve never seen one twinkle so!’
    At first, they thought, ‘Let’s leave it be!
    Let it sprout up naturally!’
    But they two were curious
    ‘Could it make a ginger sauce?
    Drizzled on stem ginger crumble
    Ooo it makes my belly rumble!’
    So they took it from the ground
    Stunned by what they both had found
    The root was peeled, folded in
    With mixture for a baking tin
    Which made a giant ginger cake
    A separate dough, a gooey paste
    Made two gingerbread men shapes
    A boy – an apron frilly, long
    A girl with buttoned chef whites on
    “What shall we call them?” Scarlett said
    (That’s the name of the redhead)
    Ham: “Hans is what I’ll call the laddy!”
    “Mine will be Greta!” Scarlett added.

    Dessert that night to follow steak
    The duo tried some of their cake
    And instead of cups of tea
    Fresh mango ginger light smoothies
    In a blender they mixed fruit
    With honey, grated ginger root
    Tangy spices and rice milk.

    After scoffing these puddings
    With no clue what the night would bring
    They scrubbed with minty paste their teeth
    Pondering the ginger heath
    They had seen just hours ago
    How did it grow with such a glow?

    Snoozing in deep sleep the pair
    Woke to noises from downstairs
    A flustered Scarlett sat up quivered
    “What on earth was that?” She shivered
    Hamish promised her “Darling,
    I promise it will be nothing
    Stay here I’ll go check it out
    I’ll be right back, no need to doubt”
    Scarlett nodded gingerly
    “I’ll follow you” she brave decreed.

    Stepping down from their tall bed
    They noticed crumbs of gingerbread
    So tottering on light tip-toely

    They followed the trail slowly

    Down the stairs to front of shop
    “Scarlett… you wait here, stop.
    I will sort this” Hammy whispered
    “It will be fine, stay here tinker”
    Of course he was a little nervy
    Then what he saw was topsy-turvy!
    Hans and Greta – two baked goods
    The dish delicious looking puds
    Stood up moving, dancing, twirling
    Just like some wizardry by Merlin!
    “My love, it’s come to life our baking
    I think I’m hallucinating!”
    Scarlett went to have a peep
    “What is this form of sorcery!?”

    The two remained crouched down entranced
    Then approached to shake their hands
    “Howdy-doody from me Hans!
    Pleased to meet your acquaintance!”
    “My name’s Greta” the girl jeered
    You really do not need to fear”
    “What… when…what… how?” Hammy did stutter
    The beaming gingerbread men uttered:
    “We’re made from magic ginger, butter!”

    The human couple paused in thought
    And with a whiff of ginger torte
    In unison, they must have clicked
    “Must have been that ginger we picked!”

    Hans and Greta with a bounce
    Cleared their throats to next announce:
    “We’re future tellers of this land
    Secrets of ingredi-ants
    For whisking into gingery dishes
    You’ll be rolling round in riches!
    Or if you want we’ll bring to life
    Your ginger fairground for the night
    We’ll test out all the whippet rides
    That crazy helter-skelter slide
    You only have one choice, choose wisely
    We’ll now give you some time politely.”

    A glint, a twinkle in their eye
    Ham & Scar could not deny
    They longed to be the best of bakers
    A team of top dog money-makers!
    Yet all the money in the world
    Would not make biscuit boys and girls
    Come to life before their eyes
    Diving on the theme park rides
    So they vouched with confidence:
    “We will only see this once
    Work your magic, hocus-pocus!
    We’ll bear witness to this opus!”

    As Ham and Scarlett watched amazed
    Greta waved their candy cane
    Said “Swiddle BOOSH! Phantasmagoria
    Let this grand place become glorious!”

    Then the rides from head to toe
    Lit up, an animated show
    Of music, spinning carousels
    Rotating under mystic spells.

    The stands filled up with candyfloss
    Sticks of rock and lollipops
    “What to go on first?” they asked
    “What about the bumper cars?”
    Their belts they buckled on the track
    In their whips they whizzed and crashed
    Then they climbed the helter-skelt
    Flying down it at full pelt
    Sliding down on mini trays
    Shouting “Oi! Mind out the way!”

    Next a 3-looped roller coaster
    A wild and wacky carnival waltzer
    Arms in there they both did whir
    “Faster faster ally ally astir!”
    “We’ll take a break for the arcades
    We’ll decode and spiral the maze!”

    The two of them played hook-a-duck
    But couldn’t make the quackers budge
    With fishing rods made out of fudge
    Then for the maze, they parted ways
    Under Ham and Scarlett’s gaze
    Following their trusty maps
    Round hedges grown from ginger plant
    Clever Greta won the race
    Much to her moody sibling’s rage.

    Onward to the Ferris wheel
    Not made from bolts or metal steel
    In fact, from gingerbread cement
    Giving off a cinnamon scent.

    The log flume next, each tiny boat
    A famous chocolate bar afloat
    At the bottom with a splash
    They two were suddenly drowned rats!

    “What’s left to do?”
    “The carousel!”
    “After you please mademoiselle!”
    They perched on candied ginger saddles
    Circling the course they rambled:

    “WOOHOO yippee! Gallop horsey!
    Fly my pretty, fly, be free…
    Let’s end the night on the bungee!”

    Catapulting in a cart
    Which was a jam-less pastry tart
    They held the side ropes very tight
    Then pinged robustly into flight.

    When the sun began to rise
    The gingerbread men said goodbye

    “But why?” The humans asked surprised

    “The magic’s only temporary
    The two of us exemplary
    Of profound, enchanting wonder…”

    “You most certainly have stunned us!”

    Greta & Hans, in mid-wave stature
    Reverted to your average batch ‘a
    Yummy ginger crunchy biscuits
    (For supper after smoky brisket)
    One by one their gumdrops greyed
    Their whole bodies began to fade
    And in a breath, the two had gone
    Vanished at the crack of dawn.

    Ham and Scar went on to marry
    A wedding just like they’d imagined
    A blushing bride in ginger lace
    Ginger loaf for wedding cake
    Topped with icing figurines
    The power couple on the scene
    A subtle, special, ebony ring
    “I do, I do!” they vowed kissing.

    Two years on, the two had twins
    With copper hair and freckly skin
    Charming siblings side by side
    With stellar hazel matching eyes
    “What shall we call them?” Hammy said
    “Hans and Greta” said Redhead.

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