Hans and Greta

Spin Tales & Rhyme December 11, 2018
Humor, Kids, Magic
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A twist on the traditional Hansel and Gretel fairytale by Rebecca-Alexandra Green, Spin Tales & Rhyme

Hamish was so well-to-do
A work-a-holic through and through
Meeting clients for a brew
Muffins, cupcakes, wafers too
“Delicious Hammy!” They would say
In his gingerbread café
Brimming with drool-worthy treats
Houses of gingerbread and sweets
Trees crafted from nutmeg fritters
Ginger biccy woodland critters
Rivers trickling made from treacle
Sticky candied ginger vehicles.

One day a mesmerising notion
– Full of crazy loco motion –
Struck Hammy in a moment, “GOLD!
“There’s more of this to still unfold!
It’s time the oven baked more grub
To revamp this neighbourhood
I’ll make a gingerbread theme park!
Oh Hamish, you are one bright spark!”

When kids found the whereabouts
Of this joyous ginger house
Hammy perked up to sell them
A box or two of gingerbread men
With gumdrop buttons, currant eyes
Cola bottles, fizzy stripes
Each one had a different face
Green martians from outer space
Victorians in robes and gowns
Circus acrobats and clowns
Families of every size
All apples of Hammy’s eyes
“If only they could be alive
I could watch them flourish, thrive
We’d make cakes and ginger cookies
They’d be my little baking rookies!”

Hammy dreamed of family life
A son, a daughter and a wife
Ice-creams for four along the seaside
Tokens for the fairground rides…
At his wedding with his love
Vows, a guestlist, two white doves
The bridal gown in ginger lace
Ginger loaf for wedding cake…

Dreaming whilst he closed the shop
Hammy grabbed the bucket, mop
Then ‘RING DING!’ the doorbell chimed
“Who could that be at this time?”
He pushed his nose up to the glass
Faintly heard a petite lass
“Fresh herbs I bring for recipes
For sweet lemon and ginger teas
Plus chewy, tasty cookies!”
How delightful! Hamish thought
All freshly picked and not shop bought
“Please do come in!” He briskly said
Behind the door, a fine Redhead
Glistening under starry skies
Were her tinted auburn eyes
Ablaze and startling rubies
Hair blowing in the evening breeze
“Hello!” She chirped with a side smile
Yet dainty dimples all the while
“Hi! Where have you been?” Ham asked
“Trekking, hiking!” She said fast
“I go collecting herbs for spices
The fragrant flavours, so enticing!”
Hamish said “I know the feeling!
I grow my own food – so appealing!”

The two they chattered into night
About their love for countryside
Hammy’s routine morning stride
Around the local reservoir and park
To which Redhead quickly remarked
“Do you get much time off work?
You should enjoy all walks, the perks
Of living here all the views…”
And then Hammy, he said on cue:
“Say that you’ll accompany me?”
“Of course!” She speedily agreed.

There you go – from that point on
The pair were two peas in a pod
Sharing seafront chips and cod
Popcorn at the cinema
Pinot at a quaint wine bar
Lost in one another’s eyes
Star-gazing at the dark night skies
They searched for fresh ingredients
For ginger treats and brilliance!

One day on their morning stroll
They saw a wonky root aglow
‘What is making that plant grow?
I’ve never seen one twinkle so!’
At first, they thought, ‘Let’s leave it be!
Let it sprout up naturally!’
But they two were curious
‘Could it make a ginger sauce?
Drizzled on stem ginger crumble
Ooo it makes my belly rumble!’
So they took it from the ground
Stunned by what they both had found
The root was peeled, folded in
With mixture for a baking tin
Which made a giant ginger cake
A separate dough, a gooey paste
Made two gingerbread men shapes
A boy – an apron frilly, long
A girl with buttoned chef whites on
“What shall we call them?” Scarlett said
(That’s the name of the redhead)
Ham: “Hans is what I’ll call the laddy!”
“Mine will be Greta!” Scarlett added.

Dessert that night to follow steak
The duo tried some of their cake
And instead of cups of tea
Fresh mango ginger light smoothies
In a blender they mixed fruit
With honey, grated ginger root
Tangy spices and rice milk.

After scoffing these puddings
With no clue what the night would bring
They scrubbed with minty paste their teeth
Pondering the ginger heath
They had seen just hours ago
How did it grow with such a glow?

Snoozing in deep sleep the pair
Woke to noises from downstairs
A flustered Scarlett sat up quivered
“What on earth was that?” She shivered
Hamish promised her “Darling,
I promise it will be nothing
Stay here I’ll go check it out
I’ll be right back, no need to doubt”
Scarlett nodded gingerly
“I’ll follow you” she brave decreed.

Stepping down from their tall bed
They noticed crumbs of gingerbread
So tottering on light tip-toely

They followed the trail slowly

Down the stairs to front of shop
“Scarlett… you wait here, stop.
I will sort this” Hammy whispered
“It will be fine, stay here tinker”
Of course he was a little nervy
Then what he saw was topsy-turvy!
Hans and Greta – two baked goods
The dish delicious looking puds
Stood up moving, dancing, twirling
Just like some wizardry by Merlin!
“My love, it’s come to life our baking
I think I’m hallucinating!”
Scarlett went to have a peep
“What is this form of sorcery!?”

The two remained crouched down entranced
Then approached to shake their hands
“Howdy-doody from me Hans!
Pleased to meet your acquaintance!”
“My name’s Greta” the girl jeered
You really do not need to fear”
“What… when…what… how?” Hammy did stutter
The beaming gingerbread men uttered:
“We’re made from magic ginger, butter!”

The human couple paused in thought
And with a whiff of ginger torte
In unison, they must have clicked
“Must have been that ginger we picked!”

Hans and Greta with a bounce
Cleared their throats to next announce:
“We’re future tellers of this land
Secrets of ingredi-ants
For whisking into gingery dishes
You’ll be rolling round in riches!
Or if you want we’ll bring to life
Your ginger fairground for the night
We’ll test out all the whippet rides
That crazy helter-skelter slide
You only have one choice, choose wisely
We’ll now give you some time politely.”

A glint, a twinkle in their eye
Ham & Scar could not deny
They longed to be the best of bakers
A team of top dog money-makers!
Yet all the money in the world
Would not make biscuit boys and girls
Come to life before their eyes
Diving on the theme park rides
So they vouched with confidence:
“We will only see this once
Work your magic, hocus-pocus!
We’ll bear witness to this opus!”

As Ham and Scarlett watched amazed
Greta waved their candy cane
Said “Swiddle BOOSH! Phantasmagoria
Let this grand place become glorious!”

Then the rides from head to toe
Lit up, an animated show
Of music, spinning carousels
Rotating under mystic spells.

The stands filled up with candyfloss
Sticks of rock and lollipops
“What to go on first?” they asked
“What about the bumper cars?”
Their belts they buckled on the track
In their whips they whizzed and crashed
Then they climbed the helter-skelt
Flying down it at full pelt
Sliding down on mini trays
Shouting “Oi! Mind out the way!”

Next a 3-looped roller coaster
A wild and wacky carnival waltzer
Arms in there they both did whir
“Faster faster ally ally astir!”
“We’ll take a break for the arcades
We’ll decode and spiral the maze!”

The two of them played hook-a-duck
But couldn’t make the quackers budge
With fishing rods made out of fudge
Then for the maze, they parted ways
Under Ham and Scarlett’s gaze
Following their trusty maps
Round hedges grown from ginger plant
Clever Greta won the race
Much to her moody sibling’s rage.

Onward to the Ferris wheel
Not made from bolts or metal steel
In fact, from gingerbread cement
Giving off a cinnamon scent.

The log flume next, each tiny boat
A famous chocolate bar afloat
At the bottom with a splash
They two were suddenly drowned rats!

“What’s left to do?”
“The carousel!”
“After you please mademoiselle!”
They perched on candied ginger saddles
Circling the course they rambled:

“WOOHOO yippee! Gallop horsey!
Fly my pretty, fly, be free…
Let’s end the night on the bungee!”

Catapulting in a cart
Which was a jam-less pastry tart
They held the side ropes very tight
Then pinged robustly into flight.

When the sun began to rise
The gingerbread men said goodbye

“But why?” The humans asked surprised

“The magic’s only temporary
The two of us exemplary
Of profound, enchanting wonder…”

“You most certainly have stunned us!”

Greta & Hans, in mid-wave stature
Reverted to your average batch ‘a
Yummy ginger crunchy biscuits
(For supper after smoky brisket)
One by one their gumdrops greyed
Their whole bodies began to fade
And in a breath, the two had gone
Vanished at the crack of dawn.

Ham and Scar went on to marry
A wedding just like they’d imagined
A blushing bride in ginger lace
Ginger loaf for wedding cake
Topped with icing figurines
The power couple on the scene
A subtle, special, ebony ring
“I do, I do!” they vowed kissing.

Two years on, the two had twins
With copper hair and freckly skin
Charming siblings side by side
With stellar hazel matching eyes
“What shall we call them?” Hammy said
“Hans and Greta” said Redhead.

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