The Princess and the Parsnips

Helen Lavelle April 2, 2018
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Once there was a beautiful Princess, and as she became of age the King & Queen took it upon themselves to search kingdoms all over the realm in the hopes of finding the perfect Prince for their daughter.

This was certainly no easy task – and the Princess didn’t want to settle for just any old Prince, and during this search she endured many long nights with some of the most boring men imaginable.

In fact, it became so tiresome that the Princess had almost lost interest in the whole process, and was simply being polite – appeasing her parent’s wishes by attending.

To amuse herself she began a toying with the Princes during these dates – something that became almost a ritual – simply to see what sort of reaction she would get. Pranks would include hiding their cutlery, putting fruit in their drinks, and re-arranging the food on their plates if they happened to leave the room, amongst others.

The Princess found this actually became a very good way of finding out what kind of man she was meeting, judging by their reactions to her hijinx. A wry smile may indicate a man with a sense of humour – and maybe even the possibility of another date. But if they were to accuse their house staff of tomfoolery, or the situation drew their ire, it was clear they would not make a good match for the fun loving Princess.

One evening The Princess was on yet another scheduled dinner date, at the request of her parents, with a young Prince who had travelled a great distance to meet the her.

All was going well and the Princess was enjoying his company, but even so, when he excused himself to go to the bathroom, the Princess could not hold herself back. She took the opportunity to play a little game with this prospective partner.

On this evening she was in her own castle – and thought she would try something a little bit different to usual. She hated parsnips, although her plate was full of them – again at the request of the King and Queen – and the Princess saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

The seat upon which the Prince was sat had a zip – allowing access to the stuffing within, and without a moment of hesitation she hid her parsnips within his seat cushion and eagerly awaited his return.

The Prince returned – none the wiser to the tricks being played – and made no reaction at all to the scene which laid before him.

The mischievous Princess was surprised and enquired to see if everything was okay. The Prince responded pleasantly – everything was superb! But the Princess was disappointed her scheme hadn’t garnered any reaction at all.

Shortly after, she excused herself from the table, taking the opportunity to powder her nose. The Prince – sensing that the princess had done something fishy during his absence – gladly took the opportunity to return the favour.

Noticing that the Princess’s parsnips were gone – and the extra mass that appeared to be within his cushion – the Prince promptly took all the parsnips from his plate and arranged them on hers – in the shape of a smiley face, no less.

The princess returned to see the smiley face on her plate, and she knew that the Prince had figured out her game. The Princess began to sit – her face also breaking into a smile as she gazed into the prince’s glistening eyes – until she was fully seated and heard a squelch from beneath her posterior.

The Prince had switched their chairs.

With a wry grin, the Prince coyly asked if everything was alright. The Princess, trying to subdue a wry smile of her own, responded politely that it was, before taking his hand.

“You are the Prince for me, and we shall never have parsnips again.”

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