How the Oysters got their Pearls

Antonia Tomaszewski October 5, 2019
Animals, Humor
5 min read
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    Somewhere on the seabed, far, far away,
    From the depths, an orchestra began to play,
    The audience gathered prepared to see,
    The Ocean’s Got Talent grand jubilee
    Marine creatures; all fins and gills,
    Shoaled to showcase their special skills
    The winner would be given pearly beads,
    The infamous jewels of the seven seas
    Sea god Neptune was to attend,
    To present the precious prize at the end.

    The judges sat waiting, with bated breath,
    Ready to scrutinize the best of the best
    Simon Coral with his intimidating gaze,
    Keen to deliver some sarcastic praise.

    The seaweed curtain rolled slowly aside,
    To reveal the first of the acts that night.

    On came the crabs with their noisy display,
    Side walking and snapping as the music played
    Next came the narwhals, their tusks on fleek,
    Truly the unicorns of the sea
    The neon fish created a real stir,
    With their stunning colours,
    Their movement a blur
    The electric eels put on quite a show,
    Their static shocks felt in every row
    Jellyfish floated majestically by,
    Backlit to reveal their tangled insides
    The big mouth bass was the loudest yet,
    Even more so than the crayfish quartet

    Backstage the male oysters sat open-mouthed
    Gazing at the line-up, trembling at the crowd
    How could they ever compete with these acts?
    Their talents were few, their movement was slack

    Next up the starfish, a dazzling display,
    An acrobatic tower, five points each way
    A stone fish delivered a deadpan routine,
    The audience loved his humorous scene
    The swordfish skilfully sliced some kelp,
    As an octopus juggled a thousand whelks
    Anemones exploded, bursting their heads,
    The stage awash with volcanic reds.
    The penultimate act, and greatly awaited
    The male seahorses and their babies
    As they danced with their young so tenderly
    The audience cooed encouragingly.

    Deflated, the oysters took to the stage,
    Their line up already felt rather staid
    As they started to open and close their shells,
    (A lip sync in time to the Tubular Bells)
    Simon Coral began to stifle a yawn
    ‘Rather a dull act if I may say,
    And Tubular Bells is SO yesterday’
    Then suddenly, a random thermal came by,
    The blast of warm water -a pleasant surprise

    The oysters still miming stood shell to shell,
    Water gushing through them, weaving a spell
    For the male oysters had suddenly changed and
    In their place, female oysters now lined the stage!

    Right before the eyes of the crowd
    A male to female switch-around!
    The audience squirmed and wriggled in delight
    The younger members cheered at such a sight.

    The house erupted, a swimming ovation,
    These transgender oysters, a marvellous creation!
    As Simon Coral’s face cracked a small smile,
    All the other judges were totally wild
    ‘It seems to me the winners are plain to see,
    These gender fluid oysters deserve to be
    Bestowed the highest order of the sea’.

    Neptune came to the stage, and nodded his head
    ‘What a marvellous show, it has to be said
    Such entertainment here on our seabed!
    And well done to the oysters- who would have known?
    Such modest creatures provide such a good show
    A sudden change in temperature in our ocean,
    And you transform in one fluid motion
    Whilst you may not be the only sea creature to change gender,
    We must award this prize to those who entered
    So, it gives me the greatest pleasure to say
    The oysters will be given my jewels today’.

    As the oysters each received their pearl,
    A touch of magic filled the world
    Now if you look carefully beneath the sea,
    The oysters hold pearls from their victory.

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